Kuidaore means: “to ruin oneself by extravagance in food”. And today, that’s what Karine is doing in Osaka. Why choose Osaka to do this you might ask. Well Kuidaore is part of a larger Japanese proverb that says: "Dress into ruin in Kyoto, eat into ruin in Osaka". We had to pick the city of food to eat till we drop.
First stop is Chibo for their famous Okonomiyaki, a savoury pancake topped with a wide variety of ingredients and sauce. It’s not surprising to learn that Okonomiyaki derives from the words okonomi, which can either mean “how you like” or “what you like”, and yaki, which means “cooked”. Okonomiyaki has a base of wheat flour mixed with water, eggs, cabbage, and chopped scallions. On top of that, you can put pretty much any topping you want. Chibo offered one topped with pork, shrimp, squid and soba noodles. This is all cooked on a hot plate. To finish it up you can add a fried egg, scallions, or both. They’ll finish it up table-side with a generous helping of “okonomi sauce” (ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, oyster sauce and sugar) and a spray of mayonnaise. It’s then left to stay warm on a hot plate on your table. You are given a spatula to break it into a bite-sized portion, and you are wished good luck. If you like, you can add some fish flakes on top of all that for a little extra saltiness.
I ordered mine without sauce, as I’m not a fan of mayonnaise, sweet brown sauce, or any sauce where the colour is the only descriptor. It causes some confusion, but the Chibo team was happy to oblige, and I think it made the thing easier to eat. In the end, it’s a bunch of flavours melding into one and not necessarily complementing one another. Karine described it as great booze food; it’ll taste way better if you’re drunk. I will rely on her expertise for this. In any case, it’s a very filling meal and an excellent start for Karine’s Kuidaore. I’ve already tapped out as I’m still recovering from my fever.
After walking the canal that runs along Dontonbori, the neighbourhood where we decided to kick start our day’s adventure, we moved on to Takoyaki (octopus balls) and decided to make Acchichi Honpo Dotombori our next stop.
To make the Takoyaki, they first mix a batter of all-purpose flour, baking powder, eggs, salt and soy sauce. It’s then poured into half-sphere cast iron moulds. In the middle, they traditionally place ground or diced octopus, though other variations exist. As the batter cooks, they’ll use a pick to shift the contents and make a sphere. When served fresh, the balls are gooey in the middle and crisp on the outside. They’ll serve them in batches of 10 and top them with either mayonnaise and/or Takoyaki sauce (Worcestershire sauce, noodle soup base, sugar and ketchup).
Takoyaki, according to my reference on the subject, is excellent drunk food. Other than that, there’s very little to say about the taste of it. Remember that most of the flavour will come from the sauces you choose when ordering your balls. The balls themselves are tiny pieces (scrap, really) of octopus in the middle of barely cooked bread dough.
With the after-party food under our belt, while it’s still mid-afternoon, we decide to go and explore the ice cream options in Osaka. It’s also a great way to burn off a small portion of the calories we’ve ingested thus far.
First, ice cream is at Zeroku Hommachi, a tiny house tucked between office buildings. It’s been in operation for more than a century and serves its ice cream between two thin waffle half-spheres, forming a waffle ball that contains an ice cream ball. If you get an order to go, they’ll place it in a plastic bag, then wrap the bag in several layers of newspaper, folding each layer precisely. The inside of the place is minuscule, and as foreigners, we were very clearly told that we had to order something (great, that was our plan). We got two iced coffees and two ice cream balls, followed by another set of ice cream balls. The ice cream itself is made freshly on site and has a texture somewhere between regular hard ice cream and gelato, softer than the former but more complex than the latter. The only flavour available was vanilla, and it was well balanced if not original. The coffee, on the other hand, is simply drip coffee served over ice. It’s well-made with quality beans, as there’s minimal bitter aftertaste, but that’s about all you can say about it. Overall, I would recommend stopping at the takeaway window to order some ice cream and skipping the cramped little space inside. It’s a show to see three people dancing around the space trying to serve a constant stream of customers, but you also feel in the way, and it’s not worth the extra hassle. The ice cream is the star here; focus on it.
We continue our adventure by heading to the Gelateria Circo D’oro where a very nice Japanese man greets us in his best impression of Italian. He happily explains the menu to us and even shares a mostly correct English translation. Karine goes for the whole cup Circo D’oro, their own blend of gelatos (fiore di latte, pistacchio, cioccolato) with some chocolate sauce on top. I, on the other hand, go for a classic: the affogato (vanilla gelato with a shot of espresso on top). Both are well-executed, high-quality gelato. The owners genuinely care about making great products. Not knowing that the gelato is made in the space next door, I would have believed it was made in Italy.
The last stop of our food adventure is Shabu-Shabu at On-Yasai. They are not only highly rated (as all the places mentioned today), but they also do a two-hour all-you-can-eat shabu-shabu. During that time, you get to order as much meat and vegetables as you want, except for Kobe beef slices, which you can only get once. They’ll happily bring you trays of wagyu non-stop if you like. There’s an iPad on the table, and as soon as you feel your supplies are running low, you get to order more from the iPad, and it’ll show up within minutes. The other big point in favour of On-Yasai is their broth. Instead of just giving you a large cauldron of boiling water to season yourself, you get choose between soy milk, Szechuan (hot pot), kelp (seaweed), oxtail, herbs, soup stock or aged soy sauce and sugar. We picked oxtail and soup stock as we could get a cauldron with a divider, giving us more chances to explore the flavour combo.
We ate until we could no longer eat. Karine even found the strength to go for the dessert. We had a good time and a good meal, and went home to digest it all from the comfort of our bed. Tomorrow we’ll be travelling to Kyoto in the rain.